Well, it's been a little while since I posted, so I figured it was about time. Life has been crazy, busy, hectic and yet amazingly fulfilling and rewarding. Ultimately, I haven't had the time nor energy to devote to coming up with a topic and then spewing it out onto this page. But over the last couple weeks, my wife and I have been faced with a situation that has presented itself multiple times, in a couple different manifestations, and it's been weighing heavily on us, as we aren't terribly sure how to approach it.
As parents, we tend to be pretty blind when it comes to how to raise children. We obviously have some very different beliefs from everyone else. In other words, every parent has a different idea of how to raise their child. That can cause us to view another family's idea of parenting in a negative way, depending on the situation. So, at what point are we being too self righteous? When do we cross over into the "holier-than-thou" category? And on the flip side, when are those feelings justified?
Here's the breakdown of the situations. We know a couple families that we've been inclined to be concerned for. Both will insist that they are awesome parents, and that they're doing their best, and that they're doing everything in the best interest of their kids. To summarize, we have a hard time believing it, based on things that have taken place. Without going into too much detail, it doesn't seem like they're making all the necessary precautions for their child's safety and wellbeing. A child shouldn't be exposed to drugs or paraphernalia, it should not be accessible to them, and drugs should not be USED while they can be exposed to the effects. By inviting people with continuous, extensive criminal behavior into your house, you're putting your child at risk. Personally... I'm not willing to take that risk.
In addition to just plain and simple DANGER being a part of a child's life, how are they being interacted with at home? In both cases, these parents are also claiming to be attentive, loving parents. Again, we have a hard time seeing it, based on the way the children interact with others, and on some occasions, the behavior at home has been observed. The child will want to ask a question, and is shushed and shooed way. Or, the child is just not SPOKEN to at home. And by that I mean, the parents don't sit down and just talk to them or have conversation with them, or play with them. The conversation goes as far as "Daddy, I have to go potty", "Ok, go ahead and go"... and that's it. Or, "Here, play with this" and then it's on to whatever they were doing before they were "interrupted" by the kids.
As you may be able to tell, I'm a little perturbed about both of these situations. We're left with a few options, none of which are favorable at all: 1.) Do nothing, let the child grow up in that situation and suffer for it later, 2.) Approach the parents and end the friendship entirely, as the parents don't see themselves doing anything wrong, 3.) Approach the authorities and let them handle it. Not a very promising list of outcomes when you fast forward through any of the options... I've prayed about this for a while over the last few weeks, since it really started bothering me, and I just haven't been given the answer yet. Which is why that's the point of this post. This isn't a post designed to give you advice, it's more of a request for advice... When faced with only these options, none of which will have a happy or constructive outcome for EVERYONE, what do you do?
And furthermore, are we bad people for feeling like THEY aren't doing their best as parents? Are they bad parents, or are we just overstepping our moral bounds?
Input is very much welcome on this one guys, we want to know what you think. Give us a hand.
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